I don't know how it happened or when, but at some point, I became so damaged that I literally drive any man who gets anywhere close to the inside away.

He's moving out of province. That alone is sad. I'm obviously heartbroken knowing that there really is no hope for he and I.
The realization that occured to me though is that every single man that I've really been attracted to and saw a future with has moved thousands of kilometers away.
My first 'technical' boyfriend, moved to Ontario.
My second and first real boyfriend moved to Vancouver Island.
The guy who came after the first real boyfriend moved to Vancouver.
The man that I wanted more than anything to love me moved to Regina.
The first guy I wanted to be with when I finally got over the man who I wanted to love me moved to Winnipeg.
The guy I dated, but really turned out that he was cheating on his boyfriend with me (I had no idea. I'm still not ok with that) moved somewhere up north, one of the territories I think for work.
Now this man. The first guy in two years told me that he's leaving at the end of August to move to Vancouver.

This is more than coincidence. I wish I could say that I'm blowing things out of proportion, but the God's honest truth is that this is the way things have happened. I make men who I want to be with go away. They leave.

This is why I keep my guard up and have walls around myself, because the second I think of letting someone get close, they see something in me that I don't want them to and they end up leaving. Not just leaving, but they leave town.

I always thought that I'd be alone, but I hoped that I was wrong. I don't think I am, and it breaks my heart.