My ideal man would be: [1.] Wants a Christmas tree every year. [2.] Has or loves dogs, especially mine. [3.] Willing to let me be right sometimes, even when he knows I'm wrong. [4.] Avoids drugs 99% of the time. [5.] Has a job that he attends roughly 40 hours per week. [6.] Has perfect hands and feet and doesn�t know it. [7.] Has an active fantasy life and can manage to bring fantasy to reality successfully. [8.] Sees me as a vulnerable man and a child-like god. [9.] Espouses a personal brand of spirituality. [10.] Can access his emotions freely. [11.] Can communicate effectively. [12.] Can accept responsibility for his mistakes with minimal drama and maximum sincerity. [13.] Is honored and awed by our relationship. [14.] Is just as willing to hold hands and cuddle, as he is to swing from the chandeliers, naked and bound. [15.] Is fiscally responsible. [16.] Can cry. [17.] Is both sinner and saint. [18.] Clips coupons. [19.] Isn�t afraid of dirt, motor oil, blood, or grass stains. [20.] Reads labels. [21.] Likes to go out as much as "creating an evening" and staying in. [22.] Has minimal neuroses, psychoses, and stupidoses. [23.] Loves to cook. [24.] Knows that he isn't the shit, but is humbled by the fact I think he is. [25.] Is muscular but not overdone. [26.] Has light eyes and dark hair. [27.] Is totally versatile. [28.] Is assertive with strangers but kind at the same time. [29.] Doesn't pluck his eyebrows, but doesn't have a unibrow. [30.] Understands the difference between your and you�re, their and they�re, and its and it�s. [31.] Speaks French so we can converse together in our own "private" language. [32.] Smiles beautifully, broadly, and often. [33.] Laughs frequently, especially at my dry sense of humor. [34.] Owns and rides a bike regularly. [35.] Will encourage me to live as healthy as possible, even when I would rather eat cheesecake. [36.] Hates clowns too because they�re creepy. [37.] Thinks chateaubriand and scrambled eggs and ketchup both have their time and place in the culinary experience. [38.] Thinks bottled water is can taste better than tap. [39.] Would want a big house only to fill it with visiting friends. [40.] Would want a large professional kitchen only for us to cook for those friends. [41.] Would pay top dollar for a reliable car, not a trendy car. [42.] Has two eyebrows. [43.] Looks at an expensive antique four-poster bed and immediately thinks "I could tie him to that!" [44.] Knows which end of the hammer is the business end and isn�t afraid to use it. [45.] Suggests that we take night classes together and then comes home with the course catalog so we can choose. [46.] Spoons automatically with me when he crawls into bed. [47.] Infuriates me by taking a bite out of every chocolate in the box and then surprises me with my own box. [48.] Is also a coffee fiend and aficionado, appreciating the fact that the most important life events happen over coffee. [49.] Reads to me while we�re driving. [50.] Holds my hand when we�re, well�everywhere. [51.] Knows the difference between smelling like a man and polluting the atmosphere. [52.] Understands that I love art, and will listen to me drone on about the color choices in a Van Gogh painting. [53.] Likes to sleep in on Weekends. [54.] Hopes for the best and plans for the worst. [55.] Takes the reins with conviction. [56.] Hands them over with complete trust. [57.] Would bathe me daily if I were incapacitated. [58.] Would bathe me daily even if I weren�t, but reserves that for special occasions. [59.] Collects but doesn�t hoard, being more than willing to release and return things to the Universal Library. [60.] Would only want to win the lottery to be able to help his friends and family. [61.] Respects waiters and servers. [62.] Understands the difference between righteous anger and throwing a tantrum. [63.] Is judicious with his time, talent, energy, money, and spirituality. [64.] Understands the importance of balance in all things. [65.] Spends time working on himself and growing as an individual. [66.] Creates and delights in his own sacred space and time. [67.] Fosters his own hobbies, friends, and opinions. [68.] Would never eat the last piece of anything before offering it to others first. [69.] Would never leave without saying goodbye, whether that was a kiss, a hug, or a handshake. [70.] Can play a musical instrument and tries, futily, to teach me. [71.] Is proud of our relationship and comfortable with our sexuality. [72.] Is forever hearing "You�re GAY??" [73.] Doesn't mind when I smoke. [74.] Clips fingernails, toenails, and nose hairs regularly. [75.] Loves to travel. [76.] Loves coming home. [77.] Appreciates the power of silence and feels no need to fill it. [78.] Surprises me with his creativity. [79.] Trusts my intuition and instincts as much as he trusts his own experience. [80.] Can change his oil, his fuses, and his mind. [81.] Makes my toes curl in bed without even trying, and makes me talk to God when he is trying. [82.] Would rather buy a "fixer-upper" and fix it up with me than move into something new. [83.] Looks behind himself when walking through a door to make sure that it doesn�t close on someone behind him. [84.] Can say "You�re full of shit" so sweetly and diplomatically that I want to thank him for pointing that out. [85.] Has men and women going out of their way to tell me how adorable he is. [86.] Lets a woman go before him when they arrive somewhere at the same time. [87.] Sees gray hair as a sign of maturity, not something that must be dreaded and dyed. [88.] Is equally comfortable in jeans and T-shirts or a tuxedo, but prefers to be naked. [89.] Flirts shamelessly making sure that I�m the recipient of the lion�s share of his trysts. [90.] Takes his meds, including antidepressants, regularly. [91.] Considers therapy a necessary part of the routine emotional tune-up process. [92.] Has a child-like curiosity and enthusiasm. [93.] Would take a bullet for me. [94.] Wouldn�t want flowers at his funeral, or wedding for that matter, preferring that that money go toward good food, drinks, and entertainment to celebrate the occasion. [95.] Would be such a revered soul that there would be standing room only at his funeral and wedding. [96.] Sees life as an active pursuit, full of active verbs, and a few passive naps. [97.] Would approach things with an adventurous spirit and make palatable those things that he may not like, but knows I do, by adding things he prefers to the mix. (For example, he would zip two sleeping bags together to make one big one for us to spoon in, bring a BBQ pit, boom box with tunes, candles, S�Mores fixins, etc.) [98.] Sees computers and TVs as distractions and entertainment, but not as replacements or surrogates for friendships or relationships. [99.] Is prompt and on time, respecting other people�s schedules. [100.] Knows that I�d be doing all of these things and more for him and us too. [101.] Understands that I would rather him give me a kiss than a bunch of flowers.
previous - next
|