I have never been on a road trip. I've made quasi-plans to, but they never actually panned out. I'd love to just get behind the wheel of a car one day, preferably soon, and just take off. Just drive, not tell anyone that I'm leaving, just leave. Since my life is based on scheduals, routines, and generally predictable things, there are some days when I feel like I just need to take myself out of my own life. Go somewhere where nobody knows me in an unfamiliar place. I want the things that I see and hear to be foriegn. I want to be foriegn.

I've never had anyone tell me that they love me. I'm not talking about plutonic love, but real, unconditional romantic love. There aren't many things that I can think of when it comes to explaining this one, but all I want is for someone to need me. I want to be the last person someone thinks about before they go to bed, and the first thing they think of when they wake up. I want someone to have a random thought about me during the day, and then smile because they caught themselves thinking about me.

I've never been to a concert. I have been to punk shows, but those aren't concerts, they're in some dive of a place, with some drunk idiots and a mediocre band playing some crap music that I know I wouldn't be proud of if I had written it. I would love to go to an intimate settting with just the preformer, a piano, and a spotlight.

I wish that sometimes I weren't me. That I was this person that people gravitate towards, I have two friends in particular that I think of when it comes to people like this. One is very fortunate when it comes to having his choice of male company, he is a beautiful person, on the inside and out. The other has this personality that is so lively and refreshing. Both these men are what I want to be. Both have such beautiful souls.

But I have to play the cards I was dealt. I'm ok with that though, because as much as I wish that I were different sometimes, I always come back to myself.