I'm the new berlin wall
Seeking validation through others. Its something that happens everyday, and wether you want to admit it or not, everybody does it. Granted, some do it much much more, and in a way more obvious way than others, but nontheless, we all do it. When you ask someones opinion on something you already like, like the shirt that you just bought, or your new partner, you don't want to hear their honest opinion, come one, who are you kidding?
So, essentially, we are all living some life, going through checkpoints set up by our own insecurities.
Then there is the more serious and personal version of my theory.
I'm lonely. I've tried filling this void i feel with friends, a hobby, a pet, almost anything you can think of. I need someone to make me feel good about myself, because quite honestly, i don't have much confidence. i know i put on this big confident and goofy front, but im terribly insecure. im afraid of being rejected, so i don't (usually) give anyone the chance to reject.
I never really thought about it until someone, with whom i had only recently known, made a comment that i seem to put up emotional walls to stop anyone from getting close. I thought about it, and that does make sence. I have been burned so many times with everything that i've learned that if you keep people at a safe distance, the worst you can feel is a slight warm sensation.

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Thursday, Mar. 24, 2005 - 9:26 p.m.
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