i am who i am, or am i?
I wish I had a reason, a really concrete solid reason for my neurosis. I don�t know what�s wrong with me. I don�t know why I repulse potential mates. I don�t know what I do wrong. But then that begs the question, is it enough to just be yourself?

That�s how I act around people. I�m me. That�s all, in theory I should have to be. But, then, why is it on say, first dates we act differently, we don�t tell the potentially offensive jokes that we find funny, we don�t do the impolite gestures or whathaveyou. To a degree, do you have to change who you are to find someone? Compromise is inevitable, but why is it that we Compromise ourselves so much to begin with? Why don�t we, as humans, act 100% as we really are, and then negotiate backwards?

Then that asks the question, if we are different around each person, are we ever really ourselves? Do we even know who we are? If different people bring out different aspects of our personalities, then what would be the undiluted version of ourselves? Do we have a personal identity or are we just what our social groups and surroundings make us? Are we just a product of circumstance and the world?

Do I have to be a different person to attract a mate? Is it enough to think that who we believe we are is sufficient? Do we have to act and play up on the qualities of our peers to fit in and be accepted? Has the definition of being true to ourselves become obsolete?

Do we even know who we are?

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Friday march 18, 2005 - 11:30 p.m.
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